Just taking one day at a time...

As each day passes, I realize more and more just how unimportant most things are in relation to my relationship with Jesus Christ and my relationship with my family. I find myself busy doing really mindless but so-called 'important' things...afterwards I reflect on how that time could have been well spent in prayer, devotion and worship, or evangelizing, but that time has now slipped through my fingers, to be gone forever! It is my heartfelt endeavor for 2008 to find, and create more time carved out to be specifically, totally devoted to my First Love, the Lover of my Soul.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

God's Junkie...

Lord, if loving You is wrong, then I don't wanna be right!
I am a junkie for God...

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalms 63:1

Like a junkie fiending for drugs, my inner spirit longs for a *connection* with God daily. While it is true that God's Holy Spirit dwells inside of me, and He is here with me at all times, I still feel 'needy' for the lack of a better term for my special personal connection...in other words, I need my fix!

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." Matthew 22:37

This is very hard to put words to, but even though I know all of what I just stated, until I actually pour over the Word, or pray, or even have my own little praise and worship devotion, I am craving more of Him until thoughts of Him overtake me...and I have to give in or I am very unfulfilled... but the more I seek Him the more I need Him, the more I love Him, the more I get to know Him.

"My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you..." Isaiah 29:9
I've heard that we are all created with a kind of internal vacuum longing for a desire fulfillment that only God can fill...but the more I seem to fill it, the bigger the vacuum becomes, needing more to be satisfied the next time...

Do you remember how Elisha was called to bring the Shunammite woman's son back to life?

"When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the LORD. Then he got on the bed and lay upon the boy, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands. As he stretched himself out upon him, the boy's body grew warm. Elisha turned away and walked back and forth in the room and then got on the bed and stretched out upon him once more. The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes. " II Kings 4:32-35

Well, I brought that up because I can rela te to that story in the sense that I feel like life is being restored within me when I connect with Him. God resuscitates me... pours Himself into me...and I become completely rejuvenated when I spend time with the Lord....but the only thing that is disheartening, is that the fulfillment does not last.

Why doesn't it last? I would think that a filling from God's would be indefinite...but it is always finite in nature, never lasting for very long... and then I need more of Him...

If He were to create a spiritual satiation in me, would I then not seek the Lord out in earnest on my own? Ever? Honestly?....

There is this Fred Hammond song called "More of You", on the Free to Worship CD, that says it better than I ever could...you've got to buy this CD to hear not only this song, but the whole CD, as it is awesome! I am sorry I could not find an audio clip for you.

More of You

I’m standing, I’m waiting
I’m calling, I’m listening
I’m yearning, I’m wanting
Wanting more of You
I’m ready, I’m willing,
I’m stretching, I’m reaching
I’m desperately seeking
Wanting more of

Your tender touch
Your gentle ways
Always on my mind
And it makes me say

Lord Your love for me
Gives me everything I need
And it keeps me
Wanting more of You
Are my delight
And with you I’m satisfied
Your love keeps me
Wanting more of

Forever and always
Throughout all of my days
In skies blue or skies gray
I’ll be wanting You
Here’s my heart and the key
Cause Lord You complete me
Count on it I will be
Wanting more of

Your presence near
Your voice so clear
Calling out to me
To show me love

Lord Your love for me
Gives me everything I need
And it keeps me
Wanting more of You
Are my delight
And with you I’m satisfied
Your love keeps me
Wanting more of

You, I can’t stop loving You
Need so much more of You
My heart cries out for You
Lord all I want is

You (I need You more Jesus)
You (I need You so much Savior)
You (Please hear my prayer)

Lord, oh Lord, I need You more
I need You more and more and more
And more and more and more and more and…

I need more of You
More than the air I need to breathe
I need more of You
More than the water that I drink
More of You
I need You so much Jesus
You- I need much more of You
You- I need much more of You

I need more of You
More than my eyes I use to see
I need more of You
More than my heart that needs to beat
More of You
I need the Risen Savior
You- I need the Lord of Lords
You- I need Him more and more
I need Him more and more

Oh Lord, I’m chasing
My soul is thirsty
Oh Lord, please fill me
And when You have filled to the top
Please give me some more
And I’ll still want more
Can’t get enough Lord

I need more of You
More than the earth beneath my feet
I need more of You
I need you more than anything
More of You-

I need the Lord of all
You- I need Him most of all
You- I need Him more...

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